Wedding vows: ”I promise to keep and love you in sickness, in health, in good times, in bad. Through summer and winter, fall and spring…” Are marriage vows just a bunch of words? Are we just showing off our best side when we say all of these things that may or may not happen? Should vows be included in a wedding ceremony anymore? At Olive Tree Officiating we want to make sure your vows, like all other elaborations, are unique and customized to your beliefs, values and tradition. Wedding vows stand the test of time…even when our best intentions do not. I’ve heard a lot of vows over the years and though they aren’t necessarily lies, they certainly can stretch the truth. Come on! What bride or groom could do the things they promise to do at a wedding ceremony, everyday, for the rest of their lives? After all, even though we act like we’re getting married because we want to “support” someone else’s life-goals, aren’t we kinda’ in this for ourselves too? Vows represent the ideal: they are a benchmark for which we are always trying to reach. Wedded bliss is certainly an ideal. And like all ideals, “bliss” is unobtainable. But you can start your marriage with the kind of honesty couples married 30+ years finally learn. They learn to stop saying “Yeah, that sounds good,” and they start saying, “No.” Not to be confrontational but to engage their full selves. They say what’s on their minds in order to truly collaborate and not just to coexist. Vow writing is easy. Two strangers, relying on each other to partner in creating meaning, joy and a better tomorrow…that’s tough! Marriage is a series of moments in which one person gives and the other takes. Marriage is also a collaboration. At any given moment one partner is going to feel less than awesome. This means the spouse should/can rise to the occasion. In other words, most couples are never exercising their marriage vows, to their fullest, all of the time or at the same time. Marriage collaboration is a give and take. And some days you won’t be willing or able to do everything your vows promised to do. But you can do some things better than your spouse. Offer those abilities as gifts to your partner. Don’t hold their weaknesses against them or hold your strengths over their heads. Even though we marry someone because of their strengths, a life-together becomes a matter of accepting and redefining the relationship when weaknesses become obvious. Vows are easy to write but the true strength of a relationship is measured by how each couple deals with the I wonts, I donts,...

Wedding ceremony elaborations include those parts and pieces of the ceremony that communicate the specific beliefs and values of the bride and groom. Elaborations include spoken portions of the ceremony, i.e. vows. They can also include unspoken portions of the ceremony, such as lighting candles or Sand Ceremonies. The elaborations you choose should fit your overall wedding theme. Beach weddings are perfect for Sand Ceremonies. The reasons are obvious. This is an example of how an elaboration fits into the ceremony theme. Remember: just because a wedding happens in a specific location doesn’t mean the theme is going to reflect that location. You might have a rock-n-roll wedding in a barn. Elaborations should be consistent with your beliefs. Sometimes a wedding includes elaborations that don’t fit. For instance, communion. Communion historically is used by religious couples who come from a traditional Christian, Protestant or Catholic background. If your ceremony does not include references to God or the Bible, including communion might not make a lot of sense. However, other elaborations such as the use of floral crowns or specific decorations may work very nicely with the religious overtones. Tradition should drive your choice of elaborations. The Hispanic culture frequently uses the Lasso Ceremony. The Lasso is symbolic for connection and commitment, and it has many religious undertones. The Lasso ceremony may fit will into a traditional Hispanic wedding, but it may need some tweaking for an Anglo wedding. For instance, central European cultures have a ceremony called “hand fastening.” It’s the same idea as the Lasso, but with a small rope that secures only the hands together. Elaborations should be personal. Every bride and groom wants to have fun. Unfortunately, many never achieve fun in their wedding because they are so hindered with traditional expectations of what a wedding should look and sound like. You have to force creativity into weddings sometimes. This is how we make weddings fun: by making them personal and unique to the bride and groom. If the couple loves a specific movie, book series or set of paintings, incorporate those as decorations, use the lyrics in your vows or dress up like your favorite literary character. Elaborations should inform your assembly. Who is the assembly? Those are your friends and family, guests and relatives whom you have invited to your wedding ceremony. Each of the specific elaborations you’ve included in your ceremony should communicate something about who you are and what you believe. The most obvious example of this is the backstory. The backstory is a brief, 3-8 minute (2-3 pages, typed, single spaced) introduction of the couple. It introduces the bride and groom to the assembly. It answers the question, How did they...

Their vows were striking. Not only were the words amazing, they were, well…normal! So many brides and grooms stress over the “right” words and forget to share the simple bits of history that have led them to this special spot. Lauren and Kevin decided to write their own vows, something I don’t recommend for everyone, but for the Waddell’s the words came naturally and free flowing. There is one caveat; you may hear something quite unexpected. And while Lauren was surprised, she was also blessed beyond words. All of which makes a wedding ceremony a joyful and meaningful celebration. Totally amazing photo by: Blake Andrews,   www.slotography.com Contact: ...

It was right under my nose! I really can’t believe it. This little gem of a wedding venue was right under my nose. What a great wedding venue. You basically get your own TOWN for the ceremony and reception. Harmony Chapel is one of the best, established and up and coming wedding venues on the central coast. Here’s an old video about Harmony that includes some pictures of the various, potential venue spaces for your wedding. You’ll see some of the updates that have been done when you compare the video to the pictures below. The creamery venue is coming soon. It’s not all ready to go. The grounds have been updated. The chapel is fully functional and there are a couple of gift shops. The creamery restaurant isn’t quite ready for business but soon enough. It’s going to be well worth the wait. Contact: Ric...

Brady is one of those photographers that surpasses the test. His wedding photography in Avila Beach, Pismo Beach, San Luis Obispo County and the Central Coast is well documented. The genius of Brady’s photography is his eye for expression and emotion. Brady is a people-person. He understands what people are saying when they aren’t saying anything. He understands the unspoken language of behavior and finds a way to discover the messages embedded in the actions of his subjects, even when they are unaware of his presence. The photographer’s job is to translate context into still images. Have you ever had a photo taken of you at a moment when you weren’t expecting? I’m not talking about a demeaning, irreverent or embarrassing shot. The kind you wish your mom hadn’t seen while trolling Facebook. I mean one of those shots that can’t help but communicate something about you that you wouldn’t be able to communicate about yourself. Brady takes the kinds of photos that reveal thoughts and internal worlds. His lens is a lens inside the mind of his subjects. It’s a bit disarming. Brady offers a high quality product for an exceptionally competitive price. You won’t be disappointed you’ll be overwhelmed with Brady’s...

Elopement at the race track. Just another awesome place to say your vows. Unlike most raceways Laguna Seca is set amidst the rolling, golden countryside of Monterey County. As you approach the track you’ll notice two striking differences between this track and others. First, no grandstands. Second, plenty of space for onlookers to watch from lawn chairs, tents, fifth-wheels or track-side. Mazda Raceway is completely open for anyone with admission to wander about freely and to take any perspective they’d prefer. The family was invited from near and far to witness this young couple’s marriage. The unique layout of Laguna Seca played well into the Raceway nuptials of Claire and Joe. Joe, a pit-crew worker with his entourage of mechanics still in their scrubs, came over the rise overlooking the corkscrew turn just as a pack of formula-1 cars went speeding by. Claire met his gaze in a striking red dress with a front zipper reminiscent of a mechanic’s jump suit. They said their vows with the corkscrew turn in the background and the setting sun in illuminating their faces. They chose a setting that was unique to their lives and expressed their beliefs about their future together: exciting! Their vows were quick with frequent pauses due to passing race cars. Claire’s only request was that she be able to say, “I do.” Of course she and Joe did and the couple became one as the oil stained pit crew, distracted race-watchers, a few friends and family looked on. Contact: ...