“Blustery” is the only word to describe this early winter wedding experience. An elopement, high atop the cliffs of a rugged central coast (CA) bluff. A young couple caught up in the winds of love and only a few of us to witness the occasion. Amazing in so many ways! Lena and Raleigh were as striking as the wind swept landscape and filled with more life than the ragged, ocean point setting. Her flower wreath was almost blown into the sea but not before they exchanged vows high above the crashing waves of the small cove below. These two wonderful people have embraced a life of adventure and started down a daring and confident path as one. The afternoon was a poignant reminder that less is frequently more especially when a bride and groom let Mother Nature do the heavy lifting, while leaving out the over-blown extravagance of the typical American wedding affair. To Book Ric Latendresse:  ...

It is not uncommon for a couple to attend five or more sessions of marriage counseling prior to getting married. However, before making the commitment of time and money to this endeavor be sure you understand what you’re getting into. Misconceptions abound with regard to premarital counseling. They range from the belief that a future spouse’s inappropriate behavior might be flushed out and exposed, with a tearful confession to follow. It might be one couple’s desire that the other change their behavior through the use of a third-party “expert.” Sometimes couples simply believe it’s a good thing to do but don’t know why. Though many couples enter counseling well intentioned it is not a sure fire way to prevent marital discord or divorce and it might even make things worse for the couple initially. Counseling is a high impact event. It pushes a couple to think and talk about topics that are typically not a part of everyday discussion: sex, family relationships, future goals and expectations, past events, financial struggles and the like. Traditional Psychoanalytic Therapists and counselors draw out the bad in a relationship with the idea that if exposed, these things can be resolved through discussion and moderate behavior change. Each couple’s ability to discuss, confront and change ingrained behaviors differs from couple to couple. There is another form of counseling that focuses on expectations and goal setting. In these types of meetings a couple’s “dirty past” and present insecurities are left alone. Instead the counselor serves as a “coach” trying to draw out each individual’s thoughts and goals. Similar topics are discussed: love, sex, finances and family, but the discussion occurs without negative or positive commentary. Knowing each other’s goals helps the counselor create a road map for where they’d like to go as a couple. Beyond the more personal or existential reasons for premarital counseling, some states (i.e. Texas) offer a free or discounted rate for marriage license if a couple completes premarital counseling with a certified counselor. (Couples should check with the county clerk in which they intend to be wed for specifics.) Premarital counseling is a requirement of some religious organizations such as the Catholic Church. In these cases, it tends to be less psychological and more religious education for the purpose of membership in a church prior to marriage. Pre-marital counseling is becoming more accessible through standard healthcare. In some cases, a healthcare policy will cover up to 5 sessions of mental healthy which may or may not include marriage counseling. Usually, this form of counseling comes at a reduced rate. Sometimes local religious leaders will provide it for free but most charge a small fee ($50 per session). Marriage counseling is never a bad idea. Why? Because...

Wedding vows: ”I promise to keep and love you in sickness, in health, in good times, in bad. Through summer and winter, fall and spring…” Are marriage vows just a bunch of words? Are we just showing off our best side when we say all of these things that may or may not happen? Should vows be included in a wedding ceremony anymore? At Olive Tree Officiating we want to make sure your vows, like all other elaborations, are unique and customized to your beliefs, values and tradition. Wedding vows stand the test of time…even when our best intentions do not. I’ve heard a lot of vows over the years and though they aren’t necessarily lies, they certainly can stretch the truth. Come on! What bride or groom could do the things they promise to do at a wedding ceremony, everyday, for the rest of their lives? After all, even though we act like we’re getting married because we want to “support” someone else’s life-goals, aren’t we kinda’ in this for ourselves too? Vows represent the ideal: they are a benchmark for which we are always trying to reach. Wedded bliss is certainly an ideal. And like all ideals, “bliss” is unobtainable. But you can start your marriage with the kind of honesty couples married 30+ years finally learn. They learn to stop saying “Yeah, that sounds good,” and they start saying, “No.” Not to be confrontational but to engage their full selves. They say what’s on their minds in order to truly collaborate and not just to coexist. Vow writing is easy. Two strangers, relying on each other to partner in creating meaning, joy and a better tomorrow…that’s tough! Marriage is a series of moments in which one person gives and the other takes. Marriage is also a collaboration. At any given moment one partner is going to feel less than awesome. This means the spouse should/can rise to the occasion. In other words, most couples are never exercising their marriage vows, to their fullest, all of the time or at the same time. Marriage collaboration is a give and take. And some days you won’t be willing or able to do everything your vows promised to do. But you can do some things better than your spouse. Offer those abilities as gifts to your partner. Don’t hold their weaknesses against them or hold your strengths over their heads. Even though we marry someone because of their strengths, a life-together becomes a matter of accepting and redefining the relationship when weaknesses become obvious. Vows are easy to write but the true strength of a relationship is measured by how each couple deals with the I wonts, I donts,...

Wedding ceremony elaborations include those parts and pieces of the ceremony that communicate the specific beliefs and values of the bride and groom. Elaborations include spoken portions of the ceremony, i.e. vows. They can also include unspoken portions of the ceremony, such as lighting candles or Sand Ceremonies. The elaborations you choose should fit your overall wedding theme. Beach weddings are perfect for Sand Ceremonies. The reasons are obvious. This is an example of how an elaboration fits into the ceremony theme. Remember: just because a wedding happens in a specific location doesn’t mean the theme is going to reflect that location. You might have a rock-n-roll wedding in a barn. Elaborations should be consistent with your beliefs. Sometimes a wedding includes elaborations that don’t fit. For instance, communion. Communion historically is used by religious couples who come from a traditional Christian, Protestant or Catholic background. If your ceremony does not include references to God or the Bible, including communion might not make a lot of sense. However, other elaborations such as the use of floral crowns or specific decorations may work very nicely with the religious overtones. Tradition should drive your choice of elaborations. The Hispanic culture frequently uses the Lasso Ceremony. The Lasso is symbolic for connection and commitment, and it has many religious undertones. The Lasso ceremony may fit will into a traditional Hispanic wedding, but it may need some tweaking for an Anglo wedding. For instance, central European cultures have a ceremony called “hand fastening.” It’s the same idea as the Lasso, but with a small rope that secures only the hands together. Elaborations should be personal. Every bride and groom wants to have fun. Unfortunately, many never achieve fun in their wedding because they are so hindered with traditional expectations of what a wedding should look and sound like. You have to force creativity into weddings sometimes. This is how we make weddings fun: by making them personal and unique to the bride and groom. If the couple loves a specific movie, book series or set of paintings, incorporate those as decorations, use the lyrics in your vows or dress up like your favorite literary character. Elaborations should inform your assembly. Who is the assembly? Those are your friends and family, guests and relatives whom you have invited to your wedding ceremony. Each of the specific elaborations you’ve included in your ceremony should communicate something about who you are and what you believe. The most obvious example of this is the backstory. The backstory is a brief, 3-8 minute (2-3 pages, typed, single spaced) introduction of the couple. It introduces the bride and groom to the assembly. It answers the question, How did they...

It was right under my nose! I really can’t believe it. This little gem of a wedding venue was right under my nose. What a great wedding venue. You basically get your own TOWN for the ceremony and reception. Harmony Chapel is one of the best, established and up and coming wedding venues on the central coast. Here’s an old video about Harmony that includes some pictures of the various, potential venue spaces for your wedding. You’ll see some of the updates that have been done when you compare the video to the pictures below. The creamery venue is coming soon. It’s not all ready to go. The grounds have been updated. The chapel is fully functional and there are a couple of gift shops. The creamery restaurant isn’t quite ready for business but soon enough. It’s going to be well worth the wait. Contact: Ric...

Hi there! I’m Azurae Shults, Event Designer and Owner of Ciel Bleu. Your special day can never be repeated, we ensure that everything goes right the first time. From choosing the right vendors to setting the tables we make your vision come to life. Ciel Bleu Event Design specializes in weddings up and down the Central Coast. For a custom proposal of services please Get in Touch with us to schedule a consultation. Our service packages cater to wedding budgets of all sizes. When utilized properly our services can earn you discounts with other local vendors and guide you through the planning process so that you make your dollar go as far as possible. We offer budget management services to oversee your spending and make sure you’re allocating the proper amount of money for each service retained. No matter your budget amount, we encourage you to Get in Touch with us for a free consultation. www.cielbleuevents.com/     Photo courtesy of Allyson Magda Photography...